ive decided not to blog here anymore, gonna use livejournal and/or multiply. cya there!

so i was bored and i decided to read up on christians getting tattoos. daddy says its wrong and if i ever get one, he'll disown me and throw me out of the house, but seriously, i dont see anything wrong with it. the bible's never said anything about getting tattoos, the closest it can get is talking about your body being a temple of the holy spirit. so ya, i get it. dont defile your body. but then again, where is the line drawn? does getting a piercing mean you're defiling your body? no! i've got piercings and no one has said anything or gone like "oh! you're a sinner! you're going to hell coz you've got so many piercings!" mummy says God didn't create you to have tattoos. but then again, God created our hair to grow to our ankles, does that mean it's wrong to cut your hair? does that mean paintingyour nails is wrong? no and no! so what's it with them and tattoos??!

seriously, i dont see anything wrong with them. i read that its the intent behind it. and what if i wanna get a christian tattoo? is that wrong? this is like the world's most confusing thing. tattoos are no longer a taboo, so why do my parents still think so? i think im gonna get one anyway. it's like a craving growing more and more everyday.

I wanna get a tattoo of a cross with either the letters WWJD or the words "My King". nice nice? i want it to shout out loud, be super direct. and i want my parents to be there with me when i get it. brother says it's wishful thinking, but it would be a wonderful present.

i thought it would pass but i guess i was wrong. suddenly im feeling alone again, and although i have people around me, i just dont feel close to anyone. i think everyone around me is moving so fast and im getting left behind. oh well..

i dont know why but i keep thinking about it. i keep thinking about the past and how different things could have turned out.

im so not in the mood to blog. my head hurts, i think ive watched too much OC today.

Bless The Broken Road
Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

(post deleted)

ok, i just realised that post sounded so mean.
i love the people who try to talk to me even though im not very responsive.

sorry to anyone who got offended.

Just Once
Quincy Jones & James Ingram

I did my best
But I guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to being strangers
Wondering if we oughta stay
Or head on out the door

Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why we never last for very long
What are we doing wrong
Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
'Cause Lord knows we're not getting anywhere
Seems we're always blowing whatever we got going
And seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer
Just once can't we figure out what we keep doing wrong
Why the goodtimes never last for very long
Seems we're always blowing
Whatever we got going

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break through it

Just once I want to understand
Why it always come back to good-bye
Why can't we get ourselves in hand
And admit to one another
That we're no good with out the other
Take the best and make it better
Find a way to stay together

Just once can't we find a way to finally make it right
Make the magic last for more than just one night
I know we can break through it
If we could just get to it

Just once
If we could get to it

Just Once...

-

ya know, i really wonder sometimes. why does it always have to be that way, why  does it hafta be me all the times. guess i'll never really get the answers to it. but oh well...

i have a soft spot for dogs in the pet store who have not been bought. like theyre 5months and no longer small and cute looking and no one wants them anymore. and the price of these dogs drop so low and still no one wants them. so so sad. i dont understand why people wouldnt want them. the little puppy you buy at like $3000 will eventually grow bigger and no longer be that cute little fluffy thing jumping and running around. so why dont you save that extra $2200 and get the dog when its older?

poor little schnauzer. it used to be worth $3000, now its only $800. just coz its bigger and not as cute anymore.

now all that's left is the regret. i should have done this, i should have done that. why did i procrastinate for so long? now it's too late. i feel like it's all my fault, i should have done more when i had the chance. i really do hope what they say is true, that it's all in the heart, but a lifetime is an awful long time to wait. i wanna know now but i cant. sigh. i didnt expect things to end so soon, after what i was told last night, i should have guessed, but i still thought there was more time. i kept putting things off till tomorrow, now there wont be a tomorrow.

well, at least it was peaceful, and it was kinda nice. good scenery, nice breakfast. if only thursday didnt happen, maybe then today wouldnt have happened too.

the fragility of life, its so scary. i thought about how she must be feeling, what went through her head at 8.30 this morning. how much does it hurt to see someone you love die in front of you? do memories of the past come flooding back? and just as you are about to cry, people start asking you about funeral details, cpf, monetary issues, and the moment is lost. you put away the feeling of emptiness and force yourself to look at the matter at hand. does it always have to be so hard?

when i die, i dont want people to cry, i dont want to rush my family into planning a wake or funeral. i dont want people to be wearing only white and black. people should come in yellow and red and pink and green! bright colours! yes, when i die, people shouldnt cry. smile and know that i am in a place better than this.

what a weird way to start the day. the day seems to last forever, and its only 3pm.

i watched 200 pound beauty just now!
and i officially think that korean movies are the best.
theyre the kinds that'll make you cry.
so nice! so touching! ahh!
and to think i didnt even know what the show was about.
i didnt even know it was in korean!
haha

i got bored heh





=)